Victoria’s Secret

@jewbreath here, aka Zach Wallman. 

Scott asked me to write something and I said are you sure and in true fashion he said “yes!” 

Bad choice dude. I told you I’m not kosher. Fuck it. Let’s roll

So here we are in a huge ass empty LA Fitness building. Scott is sporting a quite sexy blonde wig and an EDM-themed coat, and me in a pair of H&M sweatpants (with holes in them) and a U of A beanie that hasn’t been washed since I stole it from the airport in 2016. 

Rewind. The benzos are kicking in… 

Scott DM’d me this morning and asked me where I was so I  IG video called him. Is that how you say it? Scott told me was in Gilbert (which made sense, because, uh, #mormonville) and I told him I was 20 minutes away. 

Obviously I needed to stop and get some treats before meeting the God of Utah. What treats you wonder? Don’t worry. There’s none left. 

Anyways…

I forgot to mention: Today was the first time Scott and I actually hung out in person after being virtual homies and weirdo enthusiasts for I think around 3 or so years. Time flies when you’re fucking legends. 

Seeing Scott in action was cool because he wasn’t in action. He was just Scott. But nothing was as cool as him showing up to a meeting and bringing my dumb ass along. 

Met some awesome people. Learned a lot. And I might have even found a second source of revenue and a place to sleep when my girlfriend is mad at me. I’m getting the tent ready as I write this. 

Some key take away items from today:

“We are all gods on this planet” (Scott)

“Did we just figure out Victoria’s Secret” (Me)

“She’s married” (Scott to me)

“I want to be Howard Stern; just a piece of shit behind a mic with a sidekick sitting in a box” (Me)

“What I’m best at is finding what’s going to be cool in 20 years” (Scott)

“Mormons are like Sims Characters: There’s no way that white dude working and smiling at the gas station is happy. There just isn’t I’m sorry.” (Me)

-Zach

Thank you for the ride to my meetings and being a brother to me upon first meeting.

SP