In The Beginning...

…I started writing about heaven. I was sixteen and starry eyed. I stored all my journal entries on disks like this one and stored them away for 25 years.

Last year, I found the box of disks, but I did not have a way to read them. Luckily, most of my friends are computer nerds and they knew what to do to salvage the files. Looking at You Kirky Poo.

Things haven’t changed much in 30 years. I still have horrible grammar and punctuation. I still write like drunk pirate trying to philosophize. There is a high likelihood that I was way smarter at 16 compared to my 44 year old self.

I did this essay below in 1997 for no reason other than I liked to imagine us unbound by rules in heaven or some existence after our current one. The themes of my writing in ‘97 are heavily influenced by the fact that was only aware of one type of afterlife. Also, Mormons believe we all become Gods and make our own worlds. So, if it sounds like I have a God complex in the writing below, it’s because that is exactly what believing Mormons have. I still have a theory that I am a god, but I am way more inclusive and believe that every human is a god.

I decided to copy and paste this Word Doc from Windows 95 with zero editing. Welcome to the mind of a 16 year old Scott:

Heaven is everything that we can’t have here on earth. Heaven would be free of every worry that we as humans daily encounter. Picture a place where gravity is optional, and the temperature is such that you wouldn’t be required to wear anymore than a silk garment. A place with such peacefulness and tranquility, that motion of atoms can cease to exist.

As I sit in my kingdom and wonder what I shall discovery next, I decide to travel to Egypt, a place I longed to visit on earth. When my eyes open, I am in front of the Great Pyramids. The people of the land are all around me, but give me no attention. They walk about with their camels doing their work as always in the hot, blistering sun. I feel no heat and I have no work but to learn and explore. I reach my hand out to touch the stones of the Great Pyramid, which appears so rough, and they become jello-like. My imagination was able to do this. I climb onto the first block of the Pyramid, and then another, until I am at the very top. I look down and see the ant-sized figures with their animals, totally unaware of my accomplishment. I look up at the sun, and with out any hesitation, I jump backwards. I fall halfway down the Pyramid, until I hit gently and bounce again into the still air. I am headed straight for the hard sand that surrounds the Pyramid, and without worry of danger, I just prepare to hit as if it was soft, harmless water. I perform a perfect dive into the surface of the sand.

Now, underneath the surface of the marvelous Egypt, was more mystery. Fish were with me, and the birds as well. I was swimming, and yet I was flying. It didn’t matter, because I felt like skiing. I closed my eyes and entered a ski-shop with every thing I needed to prepare myself with for a good day of skiing. Every ski glistened with sharp taste of speed. Without handling the skis, they appear on my feet. I ride up the chair lift with three of the world’s best racers. The mountain is shaped beautifully. It welcomes everyone with friendly weather. The mountain will adjust to you dream. It gives you what you what type of experience you most desire. All over the mountain activities are taking place. Hikers, climbers, or bird watcher can take advantage of this mountains beauty. I get off the chair lift and ski with perfection. Each jump takes me off the ground for minutes at a time. I have eternity to play with on this mountain, but something is missing.

Now that I am experiencing this magnificent heaven, I want to share it with another. I think of whom, and quickly I remember Her. She came to me in my dreams when I was on earth. She was devoted to me, and cared for nothing but me. The more I think of her, the more she appears in front of me. I am creating her with my memories of earthly dreams. I want the girl who gives me no doubt of her love for me, and the girl who I want to literally spend eternity with. She stands now before me. I can see the world through her eyes. We stare at each other for hours while music narrates out life in the background. There is no need to speak, for it seems as if we know everything about each other, so without any words we embrace our hands and begin to run upwards to the clouds. We jump together from cloud to cloud. Fumbling with laziness, we fall into a pool of rainbows. Songs and chants of romance surround us on all sides. Once again we stare without words as tears of life’s sorrows fall from both our eyes. We take upon with intense pain from our hearts the guilt of sin committed on earth.

Free from bondage of consequence, heaven opens new doors to the both of us. We remain in the pool of colors, while the atmosphere around begins to spin. The stars are all around us now, galaxy await our arrival. We have been chosen to begin a universe of our own. It is the beginning, nothing is old anymore. Our minds become one and we begin to build. We have the opportunity to create whatever we can imagine. It all seems too easy, yet wrong. I want earth and all of its wonderfulness and glory. Earth was so great while it lasted. I couldn’t imagine anything else. Together we come to the conclusion that we will make earth again with all of its contrast. We are the Parents of this world. Our love is love. I am God and She is the god of my soul. I am in Heaven, and I now can create my own heavens. Now let me rest.

I don’t recall where I was when I wrote that years ago. I can’t fault the thinking of my previous self. I didn’t write anything that was wrong or right, I just wrote freely, as I do today. But I do have new visions of heaven and I’ve been waiting to share them with all of you. I have a series of essays about heaven that I want to complete before the end of year. It will take courage for me to publish my beliefs because many people feel acute pain in this life and will not believe me when I saw that heaven is right now. This is as good as it gets and it is beyond belief every second you take a breath or move a finger.

Love Scotty Potty (nickname my cousins gave me as a kid)

happy 4:20