Imposter Syndrome

I remember feeling like an imposter when I sold my first company. I thought I had cheated and I was going to be caught and the money would have to be returned. I wrote about it several years ago in this article. That article may have produced the most email replies of all of my 500+ posts. Just this week I received an email reply to it and with the permission of this Utah founder, I am going to share it now:

Hey Scott, happy Saturday, man:)

Just wanted to drop a quick thank you. Although Convoi decided we aren’t the right fit at this stage, it really meant a lot that you took me seriously and made the introduction.

Truva occupies the majority of my brain space right now (I know I’m preaching to the choir, you’ve founded several companies), so the fact that you respected my inquiry just… I don’t know, was reassuring.

Anyway, again - thank you.

I hope you have a great weekend.

-Justin Floyd

Scott: Tell why it’s occupying your brain space? What’s keeping your attention?

Justin: Great question, haha Do you want the long version or the short one?

Scott: Intentional amount. Whatever it takes to answer the question from heart and mind. I’m a writer so I like reading.

Justin: Alright, well here goes nothing :)

My first memory of “creating” something of my own was when I was about 5 years old. I was raised in Texas and along with a small southern drawl (that I later swallowed due to being laughed at from the “cool kids” in Utah) came a love for country music. I took on the persona completely; a straw hat way too big for me, a massive belt buckle and a little plastic guitar on a shiny, black pleather strap. I carried that thing around everywhere making up my own lyrics to familiar melodies I loved on the radio.

And that desire to create has never stopped. Instead of playing kickball during recess, I was lost in a world of my own drawing Spiderman, Batman and later, writing poems that eventually turned into music of my own - especially once I realized it got me attention from girls I never used to have before.

After my obligatory stint of being a “skater boy” in junior high, making music really took off for me. It was all I really focused on and it became my identity all the way into early college. If you’ve ever played in a band or had friends who were, you know it’s like trying to manage 3 to 4 girlfriends at once. There is more drama in a band of dudes than all the seasons of The OC (which was prohibited as an obedient Mormon boy). Anyway, we ultimately came to a crossroads of “Are we going to become rockstars or “grow up”, finish college, get married and have families?”

College and families won - and I am so grateful they did. Marrying my wife, Natalie, and raising our two girls (I think we’ve talked about my family before....?) are the absolute best decisions I’ve ever made (she’s lying next to me in bed as I write this to you now). She is my world and my rock.

I studied fine art in college and quickly realized that wasn’t going to pay the bills, so I ventured into graphic design, which turned into web design which turned into creating mobile apps with leather textures, thread stitching and glossy wood with mirror-like reflections.

I still play a few instruments and sing when I make time for it, but product design has become my creative outlet. With 15+ years in the field I began to think “You know... instead of building products that make other people rich (I’ve spent about half of my career in the startup world building ideas from napkin sketches), I should take a stab at doing it for myself and build a company I’d actually want to work for. Build a company for humans, and treat them like it.” (I have a whole vision for the culture I want to build, the values I want to stand on, and the kind of space I want to make for other people to work in.)

When my buddy, Jeff, came to me with a good idea - I felt that familiar itch to create. I built the brand and have spent the past 8 months vibe coding the app.

You asked me why it occupies my brain space. Before I tried to answer that question, I wanted you to have a little context into who I am and how that brain of mine works (or doesn’t :).

At the risk of making this a novel you didn’t ask for, I’ll simply list out the thoughts and ideas that are on repeat, over and over and over again:

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Am I actually a founder, or just a designer who really wants to be? Imposter syndrome is constantly knocking on my door.

Is it a little insane to pour this much into something almost nobody in my daily life even sees?

What am I actually teaching my girls? Chase your dreams or let your dreams eat you alive?

Would I even recognize “enough” if I saw it?

Does a button’s corner radius matter at 11pm when a mom’s basement is flooding? And why can’t I stop caring that it does?

Will the fliers I’ve got sitting in supply houses across the valley ever turn into a single phone call? Probably not. I’m not a salesman, walking in and asking scared the hell out of me, but I did it anyway. I’m a little proud of that one :)

The quiet terror of launch day, when the thing I’ve constantly held in my head for 8 months finally meets strangers who owe me nothing...

Is this drive to create a gift or just a thing I’ve never learned to put down?

Natalie is lying right here next to me and half my brain is still somewhere else (and that happens more than I’d like to admit). Is this the version of me she signed up for?

Can I actually be at peace and rest WHEN that success comes? When I’m sitting next to that luxury pool I’ve built in my backyard, or I’m in that straw hut in The Maldives - will my mind shut off?

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That’s probably WAY more than you wanted to know and maybe a little unconventional vulnerability. But that does seem to be how you write your own stories and it’s something I’ve always enjoyed about your newsletters.

It’s probably time to close my laptop now, but thanks for asking about this. It was nice to get it out and add some structure to the chaos.

__

Ok that’s the messaging between us and his letter to me felt so genuine and sans ai, that I wanted to share it to all because I know at least 3 readers that could feel his words today and they would help keep the faith. Faith is what we all have as entrepreneurs and we are all entrepreneurs. I hiked to Silver Lake with my friend Robbie Law yesterday morning and we discussed this very topic. (And side note, as we were driving my cybertruck we passed a Model T coming down the sketchy dirt road. If anyone reading knows who that was, that created quite the moment for us and laugher as we passed the oldest vehicle in the world with a self driving dumpster looking spaceship.)

Many people do not take on the identity of an entrepreneur, they think that is their brother or cousin. Fools, we all doing it everyday…the act of entrepreneuring.

So here is Justin’s current entrepreneuring. It’s an app/marketplace to find plumbers that can help out right away. I thought it was a great idea, my venture firm passed, but I have a feeling a reader of this email will have a great connection or idea for him. I can make intro to Justin if you want. Check out his project here: https://hiretruva.com/

That’s all I got this Sabbath Holy Day of the Sun. Peace be with all of you. Hug your dog and cat and kids and a stranger if it behooves you to do so. I am Dancing White Owl and I have spoken.

-GSPX2